Ask Faith: Pressure to Pursue Dating, Forming New Friendships, and Complications with Confidence


Faith Mendelson on

“Ask Faith” is a new advice column to help you navigate high school and to answer all of your burning questions! Submit any questions to @ehsvoyager on Instagram!

Q: My friends are all dating people and constantly ask me why I’m still single. They keep trying to set me up and pressure me to put myself out there, but I like being single and dating just isn’t a priority for me right now. Am I doing something wrong? Should I be dating?

A: First of all, you’re doing nothing wrong. Dating should come naturally for each individual; there’s no right or wrong time to date. If your friends are dating, and that works for them, great! However, they have no place in your love life. Focusing on yourself before you bring another person, like a significant other, into your life is a really smart and mature thing to do. After all, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else!


Q: I’ve had the same group of friends all my life and now we’re all going our separate ways. I’m nervous that I won’t be able to make new friends in college because I haven’t had to make new friends since kindergarten.

A: I can see how meeting new people might be a daunting idea for you! However, the good news is that everyone starting college with you will be in the same boat: they’re all looking to make new friends as well. The people that you meet will probably be so focused on making friends themselves that forming a friendship will be easier than you’re expecting it to be. In fact, you can even start forming friendships before school starts; you can join your school’s Facebook group and begin reaching out to people through there! That way, you’ll know some of your peers before you even step onto campus, making forming friendships that much easier!


Q: My boyfriend is on his phone all the time and I wish he would be present when we’re together. What can I do?

A: We all know the feeling: looking across the table to see your company paying more attention to a screen than to the person sitting right in front of them. It can be very frustrating! However, in this type of situation, communication is key! Maybe your boyfriend isn’t aware of how much he’s glued to his phone, or how his lack of presence is making you feel. Let him know how you’re feeling  and maybe suggest some solutions to the problem. Think about leaving your phones in another room when you’re together, or even just keeping them on silent so he’s not as tempted to check his phone. It can be frustrating when technology comes between you and your significant other, but it’s important to keep your lines of communication open. 


Q: How can I be more confident?

A: Confidence: it’s just a simple word, so why is it so hard for everyone to achieve? A huge part of why our generation has such a lack in confidence is comparison to others, mainly through social media. I saw a quote recently that really resonated with me and it might help you as well: “Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike”. So when you’re scrolling through social media and begin to compare yourself to others on your feed, stop yourself and remember that their beauty, success, talent, whatever it may be, doesn’t take from your own. You can both be beautiful in your own ways, and that’s a really special thing. Understanding your own worth and your own beauty will help confidence come naturally!


Q: What is essential for a day of relaxation?

A: Self care is the best care and giving yourself time to relax and unwind is super important! Especially with all the craziness in the world right now, finding time for self care is crucial for your overall well being. However, a relaxation day can go two ways. One way to spend a day of relaxation is to spend time outside: whether it’s going for a hike or doing some yoga, getting your body moving and feeling the sun on your face is very therapeutic! Another way to spend a relaxation day, especially if it’s cold and rainy, is to stay inside and truly relax; vedge out with your favorite foods, listen to some music, watch your favorite show or curl up with a good book! A day of relaxation is whatever relaxation means to you; it’s important to listen to your body when it needs some R&R and give it what it needs!


Q: My best friend and I are going to college miles apart from one another. How can we stay friends with so much distance between us?

A: I can see how the separation from your best friend might be scary and upsetting for the both of you, but luckily we live in an era of technology, and communication is easier than ever. While it might not be the same as seeing your best friend face-to-face, the next best thing is FaceTime. Maybe come up with a scheduled time once a week for you guys to FaceTime and catch up with each other. And obviously, you can still text each other all the time to stay connected. You’ll also most likely be able to see each other when you come home for breaks and holidays! While it can be a tough adjustment to be so far away from each other, it’s important that you both learn how to be your own people. College is a time to find yourself, and it might be easier to do that if you and your best friend spend some time apart. It doesn’t mean you can’t continue the friendship, of course you can, but this time you spend separated might help you find yourself and learn how to be your own person!