What is considered a long-distance relationship? Some teenagers believe a long distance relationship could be two people going to different schools. Or maybe they are from different towns. What about a long distance relationship where the couple is 19-hours-away from each other with a four hour time difference? You may believe this isn’t possible to maintain, especially being teenagers. As someone who is speaking from experience, I can only give my advice on how to make it work. 

     Relationships have one thing in common that is hard to juggle: time. Long distance or not, couples have to make themselves available for each other. That could mean going to the movies one weekend and staying inside the next. However, this could be hard to bring to fruition when your boyfriend or girlfriend is fast asleep when you’re wide awake. Ah, yes. The beloved time difference in long-distance relationships can be a killer. First, you can’t hold them and whisper your love in their ear, and now you have to mathematically calculate when they will pick up the phone? Not so appealing… if you look at it that way. Sure, it may not be ideal for him to be up at 3a.m., but personally, I like it when it’s just us on the phone while everyone else is asleep. Like we’re the only two people awake in the world trying to make the gap just a bit smaller. A couple hours of sleep sacrificed at the sound of his laughter at my horrible joke seems worth it to him.

    Every relationship needs a foundation. You may agree to disagree with me, but long-distance relationships need a robust foundation. You cannot build a house that you want to last years and hold a family of four out of sticks. You need a brick and mortar house that is unshakable under any storm. Trust and communication is the basic foundation of relationships. Now, put that on steroids and you have a stable long-distance relationship. When you don’t see your partner every weekend, let alone everyday, your mind may try to play tricks on you. 

    “Oh, they’re not answering their phone. Are they with another (opposite gender) right now?” you may wonder as you bite part of your ball-point pen while attempting to write your English essay. Or you may shrug your bruised feelings when they accidentally say something that rubbed you the wrong way. You cannot keep these things to yourself. Open your mouth and communicate with your partner. They did not see your frown when they said what they said. They can only rely on your words to advocate for you. Body language is null and void. 

    Something along the lines of,  “Babe, I didn’t like it when you said (the statement that hurt your feelings). I would appreciate it if you don’t say that,” would suffice! If you have a good partner by your side, they will understand and immediately apologize. Trust is like a glass vase. Once it’s broken, it’s hard to put back together and you may even get wounded in the process of doing so. In your heart, you have to know your partner isn’t trying to hurt you. Integrity is crucial, because the fact is that you won’t see them everyday. If you cannot live with that, then neither of you should be in this relationship. If you’re like me, an overthinker who needs constant reassurance, once again you must communicate with your partner. 

   Do your parents know that you are in a long-distance relationship (if you are a teenager)? If not, I hate to break it to you, but it may not work. Unless you work a nine to five job that pays well, it’s your parents that will be funding your relationship. Mom and Dad are fundamental to your relationship. First and foremost, for your safety. Secondly, for your accommodations and thirdly for your transportation! And last but not least, as they always remind us we need them for our three squares a day. As my mother tells me all the time, when it is right, it works for everyone.