It is important to pay attention to who you hang around. Focusing on your social circle will help you recognize toxic traits in people as well as the people you need in your life to thrive. A beneficial friend group will have positive impacts on your social life, mental health, and even your academics.

 Up until my junior year in high school, when I made friends, I took whoever I could get. I thought that having just any friend was adequate because all that mattered was that I was not lonely.

 But when I started focusing on myself, I began to notice the issues within my social circle. Looking at myself in a positive light helped me find myself, realize what I deserve, and drop the people who I thought didn’t fit me or what I needed to thrive.

 Almost immediately after I said “goodbye” to those people, I ended up expanding my horizons and finding people who made me happy. It can be difficult to identify who exists only to fill a void in your life, but the first step is always analyzing yourself.

 If it turns out that you are not happy with yourself and cannot figure out why, consider that the people in your life might be causing that. Beginning to find yourself will drastically change your view on other people in your life. You might start to appreciate the real people more, recognize the unreciprocated friendships, and most importantly, find the people who bring out the best in you.

 A research study at MIT in 2016 found that 50% of our friendships are reciprocated. This doesn’t mean that half of your friends like you and half do not. It just means that other people’s social circles are constructed differently than yours.

 So, while one person might be your number one, you might be their number three. This is okay. Not all friendships have to be totally reciprocated, but it is essential to analyze the unreciprocated friendships, because that group of friendships will hold the emotionally and mentally draining ones.

 Pouring your effort into an unreciprocated friendship is unhealthy, so you should always give them the same energy. But it’s even more unhealthy when the energy is going to someone who has a completely negative impact on you. Those are the people you need to cut off.

 In addition to focusing on yourself, it is also essential to expand your horizons. If you hang around the same people all the time, you will not know what else is out there. Talk to new people, or join a new activity. You might find people who lift you up instead of bring you down.

 It is much easier to leave your toxic friends behind when you have someone else who makes you feel good. It is more difficult to leave your friends when you don’t have anybody else, because nobody wants to be lonely. Not wanting to be lonely is an issue I personally had with leaving behind my old friends. 

 Your new friends are not necessarily a “backup plan” or “safety net”, and they should not see it as so. For instance, people make new friends and have multiple friend groups all the time. Good friends won’t get offended if you have other groups of people.

 If your new friends think you’re using them as a safety net, maybe they aren’t for you either. True friends will understand and advocate for your mental health instead of only thinking how they fit into your life.

 There needs to be a balance in friendships of caring about yourself and caring about your friends. Any type of imbalance in friendships is what causes fallout.

 Identifying internal issues within yourself can assist in discovering the type of social circle you need in your own life. For me, I realized that I was not focused in school and did not feel good about myself in general. In the midst of finding myself, I realized that it was my social circle that was impacting my life so drastically.

 My old friends were not focused in school either, and their negative behaviors towards both me and themselves were projecting. After I started leaving them behind, I began making friends with people who cared about school, and in addition, they cared about me.

 I began to see changes in myself mentally and academically. The people I now surround myself with might not be for everyone, but that is okay. What I needed in my life was motivation, and that is what my new friends were able to give and continue to give me in a variety of aspects. I try to give my friend what they give me, as well, because I appreciate what they do for me.

 It is essential to find yourself, and to find what you personally need in your life. What we all need from people to thrive in our own lives should be unique and individual to us.