Throughout our lives, we face instances where difficult decisions need to be made, and choosing a roommate is by far one of the most stressful ones.
I will be attending James Madison University in the fall of 2024. Not many of my friends are also committed to a college yet but the ones who do know where they are going have recently started looking for roommates, prompting me to start my own search.
I started looking at my school’s Instagram pages for potential or committed JMU students, where people send in content for a post for the account, usually through a link in the page’s biography. These posts typically include basic facts about the student and a few pictures that show who they are.
Every university has at least one of these accounts, which has become a great resource for finding roommates in recent years.
At first I did not think I was looking for anything specific in a roommate. But upon looking deeper at the posted profiles, I began to notice that I did have preferences. For instance, if someone posted that they planned on rushing in the fall, I ruled them out since I do not plan on rushing. If someone posted that they were going into the honors college, that was an even bigger ‘no’ since I am not going into the honors college.
But I also found that certain things made me interested in potential roommates. For instance, I like Taylor Swift’s music. So, whenever I saw that somebody else shared that same sentiment, I became more inclined to get to know them.
A toxic trait I noticed within myself was that sometimes I judge by appearance too much, something that many college students end up doing unintentionally. This seems to be inevitable per the main focus of a post are their uploaded photos. Sarah Rogoz, the Editor-in-Chief of Omega, stated, “The fact of the matter is social media can connect you with thousands of people. Even with this ability, people mainly base their choice on very few traits their potential roommate exhibits.”
I thought one girl looked really sweet, so I followed her and DMed her, but she never followed me back or answered my message.
This is, admittedly, the only time I have reached out to a girl so far.
I was a little bit heartbroken when she did not answer, since I had begun to craft an image of who she could be in my head, and how much fun we could have together if we became roommates. The truth is, I did not know anything about her and assumed based off of her pictures and bio that she would return my sentiments and effort.
A similar thing happened with one of my friends, who DMed a girl that looked sweet: she introduced herself and asked if the girl was still looking for a roommate. All the girl responded with was “yes,” leaving my friend unsure how to respond. At least she responded at all, unlike mine!
There is so much stress that goes into finding a roommate, since whoever you end up rooming with has the potential of rooming with you for all four years- at least, that’s the hope. We all want to find a roommate with whom we share similar interests and habits, and get along with.
Another instance is my best friend Lorena: she has been looking at potential roommates on the Instagram pages of schools that she is considering. While examining posts, her number one focus has been college major.
She wants someone with a similar major, or to at least be around people with her major, since they would be in similar classes. That way, she will be able to get help with her classes when she needs it.
I think that this is a reasonable request, and having a roommate with a similar major could be beneficial, due to the relatability factor, as well. Going through similar experiences can definitely assist in connecting with a roommate.
At the end of the day, it’s all about preference. I, personally, do not care about what major my roommate is studying for. As long as we have similar interests and living habits , I will be satisfied. I also believe that rooming with somebody followingwith a different pathmajor will open me up to new perspectives, which is another way to connect with people- there is more to talk about!
The friend that I mentioned earlier with a negative potential roommate experience ended up hitting it off with a girl who shared a similar interest with her: Taylor Swift. They had a long chain of DMs, and seemed to get along based off of a shared interest.
The best case scenario is becoming best friends with your roommate:, which is more rare than you may think. Roommate success stories seem to gloss the failure stories over, although there are just as many.
A study conducted in 2006 found that most surveyed college students spent more time with their roommates than anyone else, but only 37% of respondents called their roommates their “best friend.”
The strive for the ‘perfect roommate’ is intimidating. We want that perfect college experience, and the roommate can make or break it.
Georgetown University reported that “about 1 in every 3 college students in the US reported roommate problems last year. These issues may be easily resolved, but at times these may develop into bigger problems if not addressed.”
Finding roommates through social media is a recent craze. Most people meet their roommates through Instagram or Facebook nowadays, but it is definitely not the easiest option.
Before social media was a thing, there were randomized roommates. This certainly took away the stress of seeking someone out to fit your standards, since so much goes into reaching out to someone- the anxiety, the unknown, the general dynamics of any two humans interacting. It is a much easier and stress-free process to simply send your preferences in and get matched.
Some parents are skeptical and anxious about the new process of finding a roommate through social media, and they’d rather have their child go random. And some incoming college freshmen would rather go random solely due to stress factors. So, randomized roommates still exist, and are not as uncommon as you may think.
In addition, utilizing social media for a roommate search can be incredibly superficial. The instance I mentioned before, where college students judge off of appearance, can lead to many discrepancies in the overall process. Thinking that somebody looks nice can very quickly eliminate the ability to pick out red flags.
There is also the issue with your own online appearance- everyone wants to look perfect in their social media posts when it comes to finding roommates. We want to look cool, approachable, and presentable. That’s why sometimes incoming students’ bios look so similar. Everyone seems to like going out, hanging out with friends in their freetime, wants to join a sorority or fraternity, and is ‘super excited’ to attend their school. These picture-perfect biographies can be misleading and unauthentic.
Rogoz declared that “finding a roommate on social media needs to revert to being more casual and not as shallow. If looks truly don’t matter, then college students shouldn’t be making this big of a decision solely based off them.”
Does all of this talk of preferences, appearance, and superficiality sound familiar? Well, that’s because it is.
Since finding a roommate has been such a large factor in many of our lives recently, there has been a seemingly never-ending discourse between my friends and I. We’ve debated everything I have mentioned in this article, from what to look for in a roommate to all of the what-if’s.
Lorena made an excellent point one day: finding a roommate is just like online dating.
Think about it- the perfect biographies are just like perfectly constructed Tinder profiles. Reaching out to a roommate and being anxious for the response is comparable to the fear of whether or not a match will even respond. We’re scared of getting ghosted, and the expectation is that the living situation will be compatible enough to last, similar to how people on dating apps are in search of their forever soulmate.
Both instances are based on compatibility, in the end. Paulette Klein, a blogger, shared her own experience with helping her son find a college roommate, proclaiming that the process is actually much harder than finding a Tinder date.
“Just like a dating site, reading between the lines can either leave you laughing so hard you almost pee your pants, or leave you scratching your head in confusion.” She cleverly described picking a roommate as “committing to an arranged 4 months or more dorm marriage.”
So, there you have it- finding a roommate is just like dating, whether you use the Tinder-like method or decide to take a roommate survey or randomize, which is similar to going on a blind date. For incoming freshmen, being that you need to be 18 to use dating apps, this is our first time experiencing the search for ‘true love.’
It is unavoidable for the process to be stressful, or to avoid the superficiality of trying to form these connections. However, it is important to at least be mindful of the difficulties and endless possibilities. Doing so can help you make more reasonable decisions instead of acting on limbs, and falter the disappointment if a roommate situation does not work out.
