“I just wish there was something I could’ve done to help.”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
“I saw what was happening,” tears began to stream down my face. “She’s my best friend.”
“Sky, Kate is getting the help she needs now.”
“I wish I could’ve helped her, Mom.”
Seven Months Prior: August
I walk into the cafeteria on the first day of sophomore year and sit down at a table with my best friends Jules and Via. Not long after that Kate makes her way over. We start eating and talking about our morning classes. I had a chicken-alfredo wrap. It took about five minutes for me to realize that Kate wasn’t eating anything. I pass her my grapes.
“No thanks, I’m not hungry”. She gives them back. I nod and lunch continues.
September
It’s the end of September and I just got back from walking my dog. I’m about to go up to my room ,when I get a notification. It’s an Evite, to Kate’s sweet 16.
“Congratulations! Skylar Rain, you are invited to Kate Fisher’s Sweet 16 on November Sixteenth” the Evite read in big sparkly letters. I RSVPed and started planning out what I was going to wear and what I wanted to get her.
November
Five PM on November Sixteenth, Jules, Via, and I get dropped off at Kate’s house. The place is decorated with pink and white balloons, streamers, and anything you could imagine. An hour later the MC, Kate’s brother Kayden, announces that speeches are starting. First is Kate’s mom, then dad, then Kayden, and then me. I walk onto the floor and Kayden hands me the mic.
“Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sky, one of Kate’s best friends. I met Kate in third grade when she first moved here.” I go on to talk about how knowing Kate and being her friend is one of the greatest experiences of my life. “I love watching “The Summer I Turned Pretty” with you and always listening to Noah Kahan. You are the greatest friend I could ever ask for. I love you, happy birthday Kate.” She stands up and we hug and then Kayden quickly pushes me off the floor for the last few speeches.
About an hour later dinner is served. Kate is kind of running around making sure everyone is happy but she isn’t eating. Maybe her dress is a little bit tight. I go to say something to Via when Kate grabs the mic and appears on the floor.
“Hi everyone! While you guys are eating dinner, I’m going to start my candle lighting.” Jules turns her chair so she can clearly see Kate and the center table. The first eight candles were for her family. “Candle number nine is for three people. These three girls have changed my life in the best way possible. They are my go-tos for everything. There’s no one else I would wanna binge cheesy rom coms with. Since elementary school, you guys have not only been my best friends, but my family. Sky, Jules, and Via. This one’s for you.” We all stood up and walked over to the table. We all hugged and helped her light the candle.
The following week after Kate’s birthday was Thanksgiving and Black Friday. My cousins came up from Virginia for the long weekend. On Friday Kate, Jules, Via, and myself all decided to go to the mall. We were there for two hours checking out sales and standing in outrageous lines. We were walking towards American Eagle.
“Guys can we get a snack?” Via asked as if she hadn’t had a meal in five years.
“I want a drink!” Jules added.
“Alright to the food court!” I grabbed Kate’s hand and we all walked. Via got a pretzel, Jules got a slurpee, I got pretzel nuggets, and Kate got water. I offered Kate one of my pretzel nuggets and she took it reluctantly. Are you ok? After we all ate and drank our various items we continued shopping for three more hours.
December
Flash forward to December Thirty First. I always host New Years for the group. A few days ago I went to the store with my mom and we got a whole bunch of snacks and drinks. This is all stuff Kate likes. At around six all three of them arrived. We ordered two pizzas, one pepperoni and one plain cheese. We decided to make a pillow fort in the living room and watch the entire “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” series. We grabbed all the pizza and snacks and got comfortable. We all took two slices of pizza, one plain, one pepperoni, even Kate. I smiled at her and the look in her eyes said it all. For the next three hours we watched Lara-Jean and Peter be the couple that everyone wants.
“Guys! Five minutes to midnight!” Kate yelled. We all got up out of the fort and I changed the channel from Netflix to the ball in Times Square. The countdown happened and we danced around my living room. At around twelve thirty we crawled back into the fort to finish the movies.
January
It’s halfway through January and a Friday. We have a half day on Monday for some teacher thing. I just got home from school and I’m in my room trying to do homework, but all I can think about is Kate. She never eats lunch. If she eats while we’re hanging out, she goes silent. She can’t be ok. I grab my phone and text her.
“Heyyy wanna go skating this weekend?” I need to talk to her.
“Wait yes what about Monday since we have off?”
“Ok yes perfect!” I text mom and ask if she can drive us.
On Monday I throw on a hoodie and leggings and go to pick up Kate. At first it’s really fun. We’re laughing and constantly falling because let’s be honest, we can’t skate.
“Hey I wanted to ask you about something.”
“Yeah what’s up?” Wait, why is she pale?
“Wait, are you ok? You look pale.”
“Just cold” I nod.
“Okay, anyways I-” I’m cut off. She falls to the floor. Oh my gosh. I start shaking.
“Kate?” Medics rush over and I’m pushed aside. I call my mom. The drive home was silent. On my end at least. My mom was asking a million questions but I couldn’t even answer one.
“Sky what happened? What did you guys eat? Were her skates too big?”
“She’s sick.” I said dryly.
February
That next month, it felt like talking to a wall. Kate never responded to any of our texts and stopped showing up at lunch. One day during passing period I was standing with Jules and Via and Kate came up.
“Hey, have you guys heard from Ana? She went totally MIA after we went ice skating.”
We all looked at each other confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Very funny Via.” Via just stared at her blankly “Seriously? Ana? She sits with us everyday?”
“Kate, we don’t know anybody named Ana.”
“Yes you do? We all went to her birthday party? I texted you guys when we went ice skating?” We went ice skating.
This is too much. “We went to your birthday party and we went ice skating together and you fainted.”
The blank look on her face said it all. “There’s no person named Ana.” Without another word, Kate left school. We all looked at each other more confused than ever.
After school that day I was sitting on my bed trying what to text Kate when she texted me.
“Hey my parents are sending me to eating disorder treatment lol”
“HUH?”
“Yea.” And then she stopped responding.
“MOM!” I ran downstairs. “Kate. Kate. Kate! Kat- Ka-” I couldn’t say more than just her name.
“What? What is it? What’s wrong with Kate?”
“She has an eating disorder. Her parents are sending her to treatment.” My eyes started to well up.
“She’s getting help, why is that a bad thing?”
“I didn’t see it.”
“Sky, it’s not your job to take care of your friends.”
“I just wish there was something I could’ve done to help.”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
“I saw what was happening,” tears began to stream down my face “She’s my best friend.”
“Sky, Kate is getting the help she needs now.”
“I wish I could’ve helped her, Mom.”
