Christmas is coming, which means it’s time to dust off the decorations, start saving money for the millions of dollars you’re about to spend on overpriced gifts, and start those family traditions. Like hundreds of others, my family has its own unique blend of holiday traditions, each one as sacred as the next. As chaotic as it can be, the festive season is a rollercoaster of joy and a mix of disaster. So join me as I unwrap some McCall Christmas traditions.
My Crazy Aunt
During Christmas Eve dinner, everyone is scared and tapping their toes waiting for my Aunt Jessica to make her grand entrance. With her stiletto high heels and an overly sequined Christmas sweater, my Aunt enters with a bang: literally. She doesn’t walk into the room, she storms in, as if she’s the star of a reality TV show. If you’re lucky enough for her to talk about something that doesn’t involve herself, she will ask overly personal, sometimes offensive, questions about yourself and your significant others. The night will always end with Jessica showing videos of her two Jack Russells that no one asked to see. But if you’re lucky enough, she may get distracted with an argument with my mom.
Buddy the Elf
Every Christmas, my family eagerly anticipates the arrival of our Elf on the Shelf, Buddy. Despite being a plastic doll, he has somehow developed an alarming sense of entitlement. The moment he arrives, often with a dramatic note covered in glitter pen, he warns us of the chaos he is about to cause. Buddy will start spilling food everywhere, particularly the milk, which he puts food coloring in to change the colors. One morning, we found it glowing neon green. And don’t get me started on the crumbs: Buddy seems to spread them like he’s about to have a holiday buffet on our countertops.
Gingerbread House Competition
My family’s Gingerbread House Competition is less of a friendly tradition and more of an all-out battle to win. Every year, it feels like the stakes get higher, and the candy gets more ridiculous. We start by gathering supplies, which usually is a mix of whatever expired gingerbread kits we could find in the pantry, mountains of frosting, and hundreds of pieces of candy that would be enough to cause a national sugar shortage. My mom is always trying to build a gingerbread palace, while my brother attempts to construct a gingerbread jail cell with red icing as blood. The competition itself, however, is pure chaos. Halfway through, someone’s gumdrops start to fall or my Dad’s gingerbread house starts to collapse. It feels like I’m on an episode of Baking Championship. Meanwhile, my Aunt Jessica is always on the sidelines, offering “expert” advice like she’s the judge on the show. At the end of it all, when we have my grandma choose the winner, the competition isn’t about winning. It is about who can survive without completely crashing out.
As the traditions unravel each year, my family’s chaos leaves us with more than just a mess. They leave us with memories. Christmas may not always be peaceful or perfect, but it’s definitely never boring. And what’s the point of a holiday if you don’t end up laughing so hard your abs hurt? And don’t forget to find glitter wherever you go for the next few weeks. At the end of the day, it’s the chaos and the people that make it unforgettable.
