When I dream, I believe that there’s a chance.

There’s a chance that this will never happen, and sometimes I like to focus on the dreams that seem like they’ll never happen and think, Wow, maybe it’s possible in some way.

This is my story.

It was March 7, 2020, a Saturday. I woke up to another weekend that I knew for sure was going to go too fast. I had been receiving letters from a college that I wanted to go for football and track, saying how much they want me and need me, but on this day it wasn’t just like any other letter.

This was one from the school itself. As I opened the envelope I paused for a second because I knew this smooth, warm paper from sitting in a mail bag for almost two days, holds the answers to the questions I’ve had been wondering for months: am I accepted or not?

Could this be the end of my football career or not, or what will I do if I don’t get in?

As I opened the seal of the envelope, chills ran from the top of my head down to my feet. A late sense of urgency told me to calm down, but this is something I’ve been waiting for since I was a freshman.

I guess you can say I’m very full of extraordinary happiness and excitement. So as I finally finished opening up the envelope, I could see bold letters and a burst of excitement came again, as if I had just won the lottery, but this wasn’t the lottery: this felt like my future in life was in this note.

As I pulled the letter out slow and unfolded it, I read, “Hello Robert, we’d like to inform you that due to many other applicants that applied before you, there are not enough spaces for you.”

I froze. I didn’t speak. I simply folded up the letter and put it back in the bag, like a golfer who’s just taken a bad shot: no real reaction.

I’ve always gotten this strange feeling when I feel I’ve been disappointed, cheated, depressed. It’s a feeling as if I’m stuck in quicksand; I do all this work just to get out but in the end I just set myself up to fail and now I’m neck deep.

It feels like I’m paralyzed — like my body freezes. I’m in shock. My brain still can’t comprehend what is going on.

Why is this happening to me, did I not do everything I was supposed to? I remembered something through all my despair and bitterness that my mom told me: that when God says no it means it’s for a reason and that’s how it’s been.

I’ve never wanted to settle for anything less and neither does my God want me to. I never expect people to understand my decisions and where I’m trying to get but then again it does not matter if they understand or know where I’m going. I just rather them know that I’m going to get there regardless.

If there’s one thing about me and the way that I am, there’s no quit in my system. You’d think I’d be beat like a horse after a long ride in the sun but no, it just lit a fire in my system making me want to not give up and continue working towards my goals in life.

Normally, I’m very stubborn. I don’t like to ask for help. I’ve always taken care of myself—but this was greater than me so I spoke to the college coaches who wanted me and they understood. They said all I needed to do was stay in shape and be patient, which I can stay in shape but patience has never been my game.

But in this situation I had to take this chance to really work on myself physically and mentally because if I didn’t, I could possibly blow this whole deal and that wasn’t an option. I stayed in shape and I still am in shape because my coaches told me that all I had to do was reapply to the school.

I was so excited that I could get another chance and I was so appreciative. Ever since the non acceptance letter, I realized that letting someone help and having someone in my corner isn’t such a bad thing. I just always felt that I was weak with someone trying to help and I didn’t want to feel weak.

Another thing that I had learned was perseverance through tough times; though odds weren’t in my favor, I did those odds a favor. If these were my last words today I’d end it with this; in finding are passion for something we want we must learn that there will be highs and lows, that nothing comes easy, that this journey is like a hula hoop because the sooner you give up and stop eventually that hulas gonna gonna come down and boom there goes your journey.

With that being said, stay motivated and keep pushing.