Dear university emails in my spam box,

 “Maya you’ve earned this.” Wow, thank you. I needed to hear this today, like a comforting mother. You’re not my mom, Adelphi University, but I wish you were. You, collectively I mean. All of the “Universities.”

 I’ve never felt more heard, than when checking my spam inbox. Out of all the students in the world, these renowned colleges chose me to suit. I wonder how they found out about me!

They apparently also know me better than I know myself in telling me, “I know what you need, Maya.” Every hour of the school day, I get at least two emails. So, every hour I check to see if there are messages from them. Perhaps for something to make me laugh, or an uplifting quote. 

Nova Southeastern University just today gave me the encouragement to finish my homework. They said, “Maya, you’re a motivated student.”

Since, naturally, I believe everything the university emails say, I murmured back to myself, “I am a motivated student!”

Although I will probably never go to any of the college’s they are promoting, I have to admit, I like the attention.“Maya… you have my attention” Susquehanna University wrote. See, they always tell me exactly what I want to hear.

Although I enjoy opening 30 university emails a day, I would encourage all universities to send even more. More emails means more support and validation.

Opening my university spam emails is always the highlight of my day.

Sincerely,

Maya Dunkelman