Bringing peace to touchy topics for the holidays

You’ve seen it before. Awkward conversations at the dinner table. Snide comments and

underhanded remarks.

   The “You don’t want people to think you’re that way.”

   The “You’re still in that phase?”

   The “We don’t do that here.”

   Large family gatherings, like Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah can create tense environments, which brings in a multitude of different views and opinions on current issues.

Older generations tend to be more virulent and violent opponents of groups that differ from their more religious perspectives.

  When asked what issues arise as a result of lack of acceptance regarding their identities during the most uncomfortable time of the year, a common theme was clear. For the most part, for students at Eastern, relatives aren’t gathering the pitchforks and torches. They’re skeptical of the identities foreign to their worldview.

   “There wasn’t any harsh judgement because my family’s pretty inclusive,” Junior Reagan Zeid began. “There was just this ‘are you sure you want to be doing this?’ and ‘is this really you?’ as soon as I started experimenting with fluidity.”

   In order to avoid unnecessary arguments, hurt feelings, and the off chance of being rightfully offended, the following tips may prove helpful to you.

Be Mindful

   Be careful speaking without thinking first. Seemingly harmless comments regarding generalizations or stereotypes aren’t acceptable. Unless you belong to a specific minority, it’s not okay to make such statements. It’s common to hear people raving about how ‘everyone’s offended by everything, and if we’re banning this, what’s next?’. Discrimination was never okay. At one point it was normal for white people to use the ‘n-word.’ Now, it’s a known fact that the only people with the right to use such verbiage were referred to it historically. It’s better to ask than to assume.

Be Open

Unless your relatives are all within the same age range and from the same area, they’ll probably tend to have varying opinions on the presidency, different draft picks, etc. Being open to new ideas, accepting rather than judging different cultures is key to welcoming new additions.

Be Reasonable

Instead of reacting by instinct, take a step back from the conversation. As passionate as you are about Poptropica, there’s always someone who feels equally as strong about Club Penguin. For the most part, such differences spark discussion and debate, which are healthy in every relationship. Know the difference between banter and an escalated situation.

Be Efficacious

If you are genuinely offended by attacks on your identity, your best bet is to remove yourself from the situation. You might not be able to escape your great great great aunt’s slobbery kisses, but you can easily change rooms, or choose better, more accepting company. Spending the holidays surrounded by friends may not coincide with age-old tradition, but it’s far better than feeling alienated within your own home.

   Whatever your holiday plans may be, keep inclusion and acceptance on your mind at all times.